Knowing your attachment style is not enough to find and create a healthy relationship. Most people feel secure and safe on their own, no matter their attachment style.
It isn’t until a person enters a relationship and reaches a certain level of intimacy or closeness; that their attachment style triggers and tendencies reveal themselves. This closeness triggers a deep seeded anxiety that impacts how they see and show up in the relationship. Their beliefs and thoughts about the relationship impact their behavior and, once again, create a similar outcome leaving them feeling unwanted, broken or too frustrated to try again. These painful feelings reinforce the core belief of all anxious attachment types (anxious, avoidant, or disorganized); that they are broken and that no one will truly love them as they are.
Most people, are looking for a partner who is secure, but there are two challenges that present themselves with this expectation:
So, how do you find a healthy partner and/or how do you improve your attachment style so that you show up and feel more stable and enjoy your relationships?
Attachment Style Assessment (free): This will give you a starting place and awareness of what you're challenged with in your primary relationships.
Be a part of a collaborative and guided discussion group, in person or via zoom, to explore specific topics around attachment styles.
This is for both the individual who is single who wants to identify and reduce and manage their response to their triggers associated with their attachment style. This is also for those who are in a relationship but want help navigating their usual pitfalls and patterns that negatively impact the relationship. I help individuals to cultivate their love and care of self, explore their wounds and the beliefs that were formed in response to those wounds, develop a practice of letting go and finding inner peace, and then creating a life that they love.
Relationships are a mirror and it is when you are in a relationship where your attachment tendencies reveal themselves. I work with couples who are navigating their individual attachment styles and the dynamics that are at play between them. This coaching fosters understanding between partners inviting them to see themselves and their partner with more clarity and with the tools and strategies that I give them they learn to self-regulate, communicate their needs, and understand and cultivate love for themselves and each other.
As part of each coaching session, I help my clients make energetic shifts using a method called, Simply Aligned, which accesses the foundational beliefs that beget the stories and perceptions that prevent them from evolving and making the changes they desire to make. When these false beliefs that act as barriers to change are removed then there is low to no resistance to making the desired changes which allows my clients to break the relational patterns that have prevented them from accessing a fulfilling relationship.